Some say I wouldn’t stand seeing other people eating during daytime, since I’m living here with Catholic family, and rarely see any Muslim around. I said, that’s not a problem. This good Catholic families knows and respect my will and faith on Islam, and they assured me they never have problem with that.
Some say, why should I care, no one will see if I eat or drink during daytime. Oh dear, don’t you know God’s watching?
It’s challenging to attend to all these opinions and suggestions. But I know there’s no such thing called torture in Islam, and fasting is not merely about holding yourself from consuming foods and drinks. It’s more to cleanse your mind and body, to be graceful for what you’ve received, you’ve enjoyed, you’ve earned, and make you more care to other peoples around you.
“I was in my 2nd year of fasting (dont ask me when I started), when my mom told me, there’s no gift, prize, money,etc if you manage to puasa (fasting) for 1 month. You should know God can give you better than what we (mom and dad) gave you, so start thinking you’re not puasa for those gifts.”
I obliged since then. I know mom wasn’t merely trying to pull my feet off myself, but I believed she’s trying to tell me something about life. Something about doing anything without asking for return. Mom always asked me if I know any poor and unfortunate family in Labuan so she can sedekah food, our used cloth and money for their own use. She is an angel, but God misplaced her on the island where everyone is fortune enough to have a decent house and everyone manage to secure a good job that pays very well. In the end, she just bake some cake, cook good food and sedekah it to our cousins and neighbours. I guess that’s better than intend to do something and just to see it laying motionless inside. At least she managed to attend her good will.
This year, our Ramadhan will not be the same. Unlike last year, there’s only Dad that was not around (because he was still in Taiping).This year, I’m in Australia, Dad’s in Kota Kinabalu (he only managed to get himself transferred to KK – at least near to Labuan) and Bibi, my younger sister attending her Diploma in Nursing somewhere around Cheras. Only mom and Rina (the youngest) still in Labuan. But we will be together again this end of month. We will spend this Raya together at Sandakan, as I’ve promised my grandmother to bring all my families back together and spend Aidilfitri with her. Poor grandma, she hasn’t celebrating Aidilfitri with us since… 8 years(?). Oh God, slap me in the face please!
And yeah, for my first time fasting in foreign soil, I cooked myself a good food (I guess) for sungkai (breaking the fast @ buka puasa).